Controversy Conversations

5.0.01

in between experience and philosophy

Queer folks, queer nation or queer species represent a minority searching for survival strategies within a predominantly straight and often hostile society. One of the options might be the assimilationism – proving that we are "like them"", harmless, "normal". Radical Faeries chose the other approach – coming to terms with out "otherness", consciously grasping our different gifts, talents, predispositions, looking at how they may benefit us and serve the whole of the society as well. Even within this tribe of misfits among the outcasts, there are individuals quietly dissenting against the clichés of the developing faerie culture. They may experience "triple minority" loneliness, banished to the exile of their minds and hearts, avoiding to irritate the other faeries with controversial themes.

This mysterious faerie be any of us in certain moments, in certain topics. As a tao-positive person, I am searching for less popular opposites and possibly the healthy center. Minority report is an important concept that provides sanity check to any philosophy, lifestyle of a community. If faeries aspire to introduce more diversity and inclusion in queer life, they can’t stop asking how much do we embrace this principle inside our sanctuaries and gatherings. How do we avoid blasphemous thoughts - because "head-space", because "trigger warning", because "safe space", because the harmonious spiritual community dislikes conflict or rather the direct confrontation. What is it that we don’t talk about?

Thinking of faeries that meet in practical and heart circles, practicing consensus and emphasizing consent, co-creating a community, radically redefining communication and cooperation patterns, enjoying conviviality, celebrating their wholesomeness, developing a counter-culture resisting the capitalism, corporations and consumerism … I notice how faerie life unfolds around the web of charged C-words. Contradiction and complementing – as in tao – are next ones that I would like to introduce.

Faeries are radical because they inquire about the radices, get to the roots of concepts:

Controversy comes from Latin root contrō.vers.us for "turn against".

Conversation refers to Latin root con.vers.are for "turn around, turn about with"

So how come a book, essay or letter become a conversation? Perhaps this paradox compels you to engage in one? The letters are a complementary method of communication – that relieve us of stress to keep the audience attentive, speak hastily, briefly and entertainingly (before someone interrupts us in a fierce competition for speaking time), it may acquiesce the performance anxiety. It’s the same process as in heart circles – minus speaking in front of the group. We have all the time think of what we say, compose it, find the best expression – to say as precisely as possible what we wanted to share. There is a quality of passing time, waiting, contemplating, living a live between sharings, connecting the message with recent and past events, introducing parallels. And above all a very fair rhythm. Writing a content in a necessary extent – while the other side reads it till the very end, without jumping in in the middle of ones sentence. It is as painful as the genuine listening to the others may be. I speak – you hear – you speak – I hear. The balanced alterations that represent another meaning of the verb "to converse". I write- you read – you write – I read. You may respond to me later. You can start a fiery conversation in your head. You can seek to converse with the others. Just move those thoughts, think about stuff "too much", question, doubt, dissent, provoke, turn things upside-down, with and against.

The healing potential in engaging with the dark side was beautifully captured in this anonymous poem published in one of the older issues of RFD:

OPENING DOORS
by unknown faerie

Walking through the corridor of life
I opened the door to fear; and found strength
I opened the door to pain; and my wounds are healed
I opened the door to rejection; and love grows like green flowers

I open the door to
My heart;
My life;
My spirit;
And seen what lies therein.