Work, effort and magic

5.0.13

cooperation, collaboration, co-creation

"Who will make me a bath?" - was one of the most triggering questions I have encountered in faerie space. Considering that I love to offer bath and magical steamy experience for the others. Was I, busy with several practical service tasks, annoyed by the faerie who did not do anything of a particular use to the community that day, not even entertaining or beautifying the space … except taking care of herself ("which is so important as well" as the faerie saying goes)? Am I specifically obsessed with "tit for tat" contribution or effort equality in faerie space? How do fairness and faeriness relate in terms of money, labor, treatment, art or more esoteric contributions? Did I want to hear rather "Who will teach me how to make a bath?" or "Who will assist me with preparing a bath for me and whoever else wants to enjoy it afterwards?"

The question of contribution parity becomes tricky when we fall ill. Taking a free ride – if not even some extra care-taking – on a gathering (or even community week) of toiling faeries. I have enjoyed that comfort too – and the shame and remorse that have come along. Sanctuary is definitely not an office when the sick are sent home not to burden those capable of enjoying the gathering. Societies who’s immediate survival is not threatened find it humane to take care of their less endowed or able. A friction appears when the appreciation is replaced with matter of course attitude or good manners imperative. It is interesting to observe how little attention the faerie kindergarten pay to the basic of hygiene and not spreading the bugs to the others. The knowledge of nature of viral and bacterial infections. Sneezing around, touching everything, exchanging hugs and kisses – is not an expression of helpfulness or love, but an expression of indifference to the well-being and the enjoyment of the gathering by the others. It is a lack of care – the exact dynamics that we run away from in the mainstream world and gather as faeries. Not to forget the mystery - illness is a process of soul, painful but also meaningful, requiring its own of ritual honoring: through slowing down, peace, seclusion, solitude, diving into the dark imagination that this unpleasant state presents. Patient relates to patience – and not the denial of reality, pushing the limits and stubborn will to juice the situation as much as possible.

The elder’s maxim: "If you see a task to do – it’s yours!" - can hardly wear out. Don’t ask who’s replacing the toilet paper every day, who is heating the water for you, who will bring you a bunch of parsley – step in, do it. Faeries, as the fierce declared antagonists to the corporate culture, can ironically embody the worst of incompetent manager cliché. Sharing the responsibility is not dumping a responsibility. Empowerment is not just stating within a cult of faerie-nice-ness, vesting power goes hand in hand with education – how to do the tasks. And here, faeries can get bored and uninterested easily. If not, the workshops and tours can be a very enjoyable experience. There’s no one to teach how to do those – they just come naturally with having the right insight.

In a philosophical speech, faerie space is a joint venture of two significant forces: the magic expectationists and the practical creationists. For the first ones, the faerie space is full of immanent magic that helps things to miraculously work out for the best. Spontaneously. With no assignments. No effort. Almost. Some take it even further: "Oh, someone has made me a tea! Hey, chair for me appeared out of nowhere. Yes, a free rake right here – how convenient!" Of course, magic is not always stealing/displacing stuff that someone else has prepared for themselves. Quite often it is a work that people do consciously for the rest to enjoy (as well). Magic does not happen, magic is made. Getting slightly into the woo-woo, my first experience with the magic was that of a strange synchronicity, when faeries make each-others wishes come true (sometimes "reading the mind"). Progressively, I have come to see it as an intentional magical effort to insert ones talents and abilities to make the experience surprising and awesome for everyone – which is a joy in itself.

As a child I received a weird contradictory impulses that shaped the way I relate to nature, farming or rural lifestyle in general. I felt torn between growing up in the town and being allowed a few months of paradise in a village. Loving the visuals, the sounds, the smells, the possibilities to play, the extended family whom I spend the time with. Since my early days I was involved in many practical tasks – sometimes way too many for child’s taste. Progressively, the new characters appeared in the family, the relationships deteriorated, the work was done with constant arguments, yelling, accusations – and even other very brutish communication patterns. Even if most of my peers spent holidays at the seaside with their wealthier parents, I did not mind the toil and blisters so much, I actually felt pride in the skills I gained and liked the physical aspect of it, but the general atmosphere of human interactions was a great trauma. In a parallel timeline, one of my parents imposed a very fundamentalist religious dogma on us, that correlated with his dislike of almost any culture, the nature movies and books being the only outlet (minus the parts on evolution). I yet had to walk the bumpy road to appreciate close-to-nature lifestyle as an imposed ideology, but something of my choice.

In faerie space, it was the first time ever experiencing communal work that was unfolding in an ambiance of love, gentleness, smiles (and not the artificial ones). I get quite sensitive, when the ambitions for greater achievements push faeries beyond the good habit of treating each-other with kindness. A work can be seen as an expression of curiosity, getting absorbed in something that a faerie really enjoys, a play, a feast, an event that binds people and helps in getting to know each-other better… but it easily can slip into being just a work to do. Work for someone else. It seems there’s never enough reminders and methods, how to warn and safeguard the community to overstep.

There were too many moments, when I did work that I did not enjoy, but knew it must be done – for my own comfort and that of the rest. Too many tasks that I had to do alone – drowning in my mind tempests, feeling used, ignored, arguing. Sometimes this very process served as a vent, an uncovering the fears and suspicions slumbering inside, the opportunity to get in touch with them and start healing them. A work can be an easy passive-aggressive exercise in self-punishing and self-pity. On the other hand, it can become an isolating escape pod – if navigating too large groups, a toxic cocktail of perceived insignificance and in the same time feeling too much seen (and judged). The furious row of tasks may be way how to hold reins of the community – in the backstage – particularly in culture questioning power hierarchies and discouraging leadership. A trick in the host-and-guest or residents-and-visitors game. A work is also a great hideout, a substitute for purpose, in a commune where no one is supposed to feel as an object, who has a function and has to serve a purpose.

At the end of the day, any work done in faerie space is a very ungrateful one. Even the decorative hissing (usually the faeries who incline towards doing less happen to be the very fervent hissers), applauding, naming the names or "progress tours" (look what "we" have done – done in a same nonchalant fashion as the nation appropriates the victory of its football team few) does not compensate. There are always the practical and hedonist faeries, the gloves&tools faeries and fun&drag&art faeries. There is a difference between wearing drag to work and playing drag instead of doing any work. There is a tension between community weeks (serving, giving, producing) and the gatherings (enjoying, taking, consuming). There are involved perennials and the marveling annuals. Faeries who go to dig another few steps of the ditch along the road – and the faeries who smoke cigarette and drink coffee at the veranda, eye their dream-men and occasionally call: "You looks so beautiful doing that! Thank you!" … which feels more cynical than conveying an appreciations.

The co-defined ideals of co-operation, co-creation and finally the com-munity seem elusive, though making the shared work pleasant and to extend the daily routines into heart-felt ritual care of the soul might be an easier approach to follow.