Tao of Kink
Chapter 15
Fetish (and) environment
Blasphemy! Can or could one think of the environmental awareness, ecology, all those cute fluffy or feathery or slimy animals (and I don’t mean puppies, furries and plushies), while reflecting upon his fetish cravings? Oh dear! Why to spoil sexy mood with … politics? work? seriousness? There’s nothing easier than putting them in one sentence and seeing how it feels …
If you expect another wise "how to" right away, the answer might be disappointing: No. Often these two ways of "being in this world" - being fetishist and being eco-conscious - contradict and exclude each other. While we are trying to escape the notion of sin in sex, in sex with the same sex, daresay in kinky sex - there might be a bit of sin in it indeed, though not the one you’ll hear about in church. And not just "having non-organic cake from the vintage bakery around the corner" kind of sin.
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... plastic found in stomachs of sea creatures ...
... microplastic found in the water sources ...
... sea-birds eat plastic and die ...
... leather fashion versus lifes of animals ...
... leather tanning: the most toxic industry ...
... leather-making - not so sexy way of living ...
It does not seem to be a matter of choice: Shall we add more weird-smelling cheap latex, haz-mat plastic or synthetic lycra to the heap of waste? Sexy sportswear produced in scary sweatshops of Asia? Affordable leather from India, the tanneries smell said to be the worst on Earth? Who knows about the neoprene, silicone and other cool new materials? What’s the footprint, which one is more damaging?
That does not mean you’ll run with your whole 200-pair-of-sneakers collection to the next trash bin. Keep what you have, use it as long as possible, reuse, reduce, recycle. Share! Remember that one of the first person to use a word "fetish" in modern times was Karl Marx. He described a phenomenon of "commodity fetishism" - which I like to allude to as well. We crave for the stories from the environments, where we (as more sensitive, urban, refined men) often do not have access to - locker-rooms full of sweaty sportsmen, soldier’s barracks, bikers’ rides. Thinking of the stories that could have happened, we buy items associated with them: clothes, gear, tools - and try to reach towards those stories through having sex with/around those items. And often we don’t get those stories, so we end up frustrated - buying another and another and another item. Shame is not with us though - this is the essence of our contemporary economy - and everyone plays the game. Whether they buy furniture, designer clothes or luxury vacation - thinking of "happy home", "being beautiful and attractive", "exotic adventure". We all fall for the stories from ads. Advertisement is selling items through stories. Stay with your fetish, but stay aware as well.
So we are back to basics: "to buy or not to buy?"While you are shopping next time, holding that pretty thing in your hands, try to think what will you actually get. I know it is hard - and I’m not a saint either. I know how it is to be in fetish party where everyone has better gear than me. This is how the business is made. But - are you really lacking attention? Is it because of the gear? Would you go for that totally ugly shapeless guy in that perfect super-expensive leather uniform? I know there are synthetic materials being made of plants. Not food (!), the waste part of plants (fibers). I know there are rare organic leather hide makers already. I wonder when the fetish business - that often sells to urban/refined/sensitive customers (with non-zero ecological feelings). I have bought the majority of my leather items from fetish flea-market … which is a wonderful idea! Especially if you are lucky to get something from a good looking fellow - his gear infused with his body smell, stories, sexual adventures. Or… you can use your hands. I did my sexy underwear on my own, as well as my first couple of jockstraps, cock-ring tools, metal harnesses, attempting at chastity device from recycled bottle plastic once. I could mix features I liked in different items to suit my taste or even implement ideas that I haven’t seen sold yet on the regular fetish market! You can reuse all kinds of waste materials - from old clothes to odd screws and rings and wires from home-improvement shops. On top of that - sewing, working with leather, or any sort of craft is an amazing meditation practice - which I find more enjoyable and fruitful than just "staring into the wall". While staying still just makes me restless, this "innocent" menial work allows me to focus and sort of switch off all the usual distraction channels as much as the impatience. You can empty your mind or let it speak on its own, bring what’s hidden deep or reflect upon your fetish cravings while holding and shaping the material in your own hands. You don’t only consume your kink, you can create with your fantasies.
